After disappearing for seven days, award-winning band teacher Mr. Li finally returned to work last Monday. He wore an unusual outfit: a green jumpsuit with the number 347 on the left side of his chest and a pair of white vans.

His outfit was not the only thing different; many of his band students noticed strange behavioral changes. “I walked into class, wearing my pink hoodie, and he immediately threw a shiv right by my head and screamed at me to leave his class at that instant,” said an anonymous trombone player.

As the week went on, students began to notice more and more behavioral irregularities. “I used to buy ramen noodles from him during lunch, but since he returned, all he’s had are these strange cookies with different shapes. And for whatever reason, he keeps telling me to lick them,” stated a drum line member.

During one particular passing period, students running through the hallway were met by a furious Mr. Li yelling “Red Light!!!!” at them from his door. “He was jumping up and down, screaming at us to stop immediately. He had this terrified look in his eyes, like he was about to die on the spot,” claimed one of the students.

Mr. Li finally explained his absence on the Allderdice morning announcements, which approximately 12 people saw. “During my yearly pilgrimage to Korea, I was approached by a suited Korean man who told me he could pay off my crippling student debt because I chose to be a band teacher. After accepting, he drugged me and transported me to a mysterious island with almost 500 other people who, I assume, also decided to be teachers due to their level of crippling debt. We played a series of games that I remember from my Asian childhood, and thanks to Gi-Hun, my Asian friend, I won the games and took home about $55 million. Thankfully, now I only have a hundred thousand left in student loans!”

After learning about Mr. Li’s triumphant win, The Backword spoke to a few of Allderdice’s most outstanding teachers about what they would do if they came across that much money.

“I would probably toss it on a 12-leg A-10 Tuesday night hoops parlay, roll Dukies,” stated one gym teacher/sub/valet driver/college baseball coach.

Math teacher Mrs. Britton said she would purchase a lifetime Snapchat Plus subscription so she could “stalk her husband even more.” “I use snap in class so much already,” Britain claims. “Go big or go home!”

When The Backword asked P.E./health teacher Mr. Rad, his answer consisted of a mix of huffs, grunts, and muttering “A bunch of weed, probably,” under his breath. This was the only answer we could get from him.

Mr. Li’s strange story puzzled the Allderdice community. Even stranger, Netflix execs have begun showing up to school and questioning him intensely.  With rumors now circulating about Mr. Lee and his imminent retirement, we all are excited to see what happens next in such an interesting teacher’s life.